You sound like you have a very fair process for your officiating, and if the P12 officials officiated how you are saying they should, I don't think there would be any argument.
I will say that at every level we try to officiate in that manner. But we do make mistakes. We often make mistakes. And in fact, we screw up all the time. I did a game years ago where the offense lined up to kick the go ahead FG with :02 remaining in the game. The kick was blocked, and while the ball was rolling around, one official blew the whistle. The ball was loose. By rule, this inadvertent whistle requires replaying the down (whistle during a legal kick). The defense's coach came unglued when we told him what was going to happen. Of course the offense lined up and kicked the game winning field goal. This kind of mistake cost the team the game.
We even screw up in ways people probably never notice. For example, we recently had a case where the running back was called for a facemask (tried to stiff arm, but grabbed and pulled the tackler to the grown) and then ran on for another 20 yards. The white hat (the main guy), enforced it from the end of the run, but it should have been 15 yards from the spot of the foul. Nobody noticed, but it was wrong. Imagine if that yardage was the difference between a first down and not a first down at the end of the game.
The issue is that the refs are incredibly inconsistent. Play to play and game to game.
Amen, amen, amen. 1,000 times amen. This is our biggest gripe as officials ourselves. And it's not just individual officials, it is individual white hats. I had a white hat that told me every time I tried to call illegal use of the hands on the defense, he'd stuff the flag back in my pocket. And the next guy told me he'd be pissed if I didn't call it. And now it is a point of emphasis that it must be called. There's even white hats that still think OPI is a loss of down (it hasn't been for a few years) or the DPI is an automatic first down. You'd be amazed at the lack of consistency.
I've commented on this before. But I think there are two main reasons: 1) the guys that are officials are basically part-timers. Nobody doing NCAA football is doing it as their full time job. Many of the DI guys have other jobs that are flexible enough to let them do it on the side. I think if you drastically increase the pay and make it a full-time, year round job where they train (both on the field and watching film), subject them to real, strict performance reviews you'd see the quality increase significantly. And 2) the training is pretty much limited to during the season. They do post games, observations, and other film reviews. I think they need to expand the training, formalize the expectations, and train people to those expectations. You'd think with schools dumping hundreds of millions and billions as a whole into college football, they could spend some money to improve things.
At the HS level and below this is not practical. No school or school association can afford to pay a guy $30k+ a year. We make about $50/game, and do maybe 6 or 7 varsity games, and a few playoff games. Factor in JV and lower, and you might make perhaps $2k a year, and that's a really good year.