OT(Off Topic)Advice,Help for a fellow coug problem?

[mikalalas]

Hi all. To those who don't know, remember me. I have been a long time member here. I am a lurker, dont post much, until I find something I want to post.

If this is not appropiate here, then can delete, move it. Also I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this on facebook.

BACKGROUND INFO:

I started a DJ business. I do music, karaoke, dance lessons, and other event stuff to be added later as 1 stop shop, for dances, parties, for schools, Churches, govt, business, Nursing Homes, private individuals, weddings,etc.

In a country farming town, county between Moses Lake, and Spokane in Eastern WA:

There is the official town festival Teen Dance. There have been problems at this dance with teens in the past being busted for drinking, doing drugs, having sex, etc, at the dance site.

Because of that the Chamber of Commerce Chairman in charge of dance got 5 Chaperones, security. Sheriff was there.

So the Chairman hired me for $400 to do dance. The Chairman asked me to screen, not approve, not download, not play any download request, that was inappropiate, had overt sexual, violence, drinking, foul language, etc, content, in order to try to help prevent teen behavioral problems at dance.

It didnt work. Multiple teens were busted, arrested, charged with MIP, by cops, sheriff, for drinking in a nearby farmers field.

Back up: My preparations for dance is I talked to local teens. They said they wanted 2018 to 1990 Hip Hop, R&B, Pop, Electronica, Rap, Country at their dances. I also spent 2,3,4 weeks searching online for the most popular dance songs according to I Tunes other online listings.

And from 1999 to 2012,2013,2014, I had been going to Dance Clubs, Raves, with Doormen, Bouncers, $3 to $13 cover charges, and dancing with the 20 year olds

And I had DJ ed 1,2 songs in past, and had friends who were DJ, so I know what Teens, young adults like. But I still talked to teens, researched online.

At the Dance:

I had at least 13 to 17 song request out of my 333 song collection, that I played for the Teens.

The town's parade, float princess, queen at the dance, and other teens gave me thumbs up, High Fived me, told me I was doing a good Job.

It also seemed to me, my wife, the chairman, Chaperones, that the teens were having a good time.

When I played songs like Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Turn down for what by DJ Snake, Bangarang by Skrillex, What Makes you Beautiful by One Direction, the Teens Cheered, Celebrated as if those songs were their favorite songs.

The only bad thing, was there was 1 to 4 teens that kept on asking for inappropiate songs to be Downloaded played, that I didnt play. (I did play 2,3,4 download request songs, and I played every single song the teens requested from my collection.)

After the dance I posted pics of the dance on the Towns Virtual Yardsale facebook page, group in the discussion area, since it wasnt a for sale item.

Two People and a teen on that page were telling me I was a terrible DJ, and that Shame on me for not playing the innappropiate download request songs, and for playing music the Teens didnt like.

A co worker of the Chairman, and my friend Sam, who is a Teen who owns a food business, who supplied food to the dance confirmed that what they were saying was at least partially true that teens left early because they didnt like the music.

I suspect the truth is that 2 to 6 teens, who were popular, ringleader teens, that didnt get their innappropiate download request songs downloaded, threw a hissy fit behind my back, didnt tell me, my wife wife, anyone, until they told their teen friends that they were leaving because they thought the music was terrible, caused their teen friends to agree, follow them out so that they could hang out, be with their teen friends.

I suspect that about between 13% to 39% of the teens left early because of that above.

But the 2 people, and the teen on the facebook page, of course blew that way out of proportion, told people that most of the teens had left at, between 9 pm to 10 pm(Dance started at 9 pm, ended at Midnight)

Which was totally false as there was still somewhere between 25 to 35 teens, out of about somewhere between 40 to 70 teens that showed up, there at about 10:15, and still 13 to 23 there at about 11:15 to 11:30 pm, and about 5 to 9 that were there at 11:45, and 1 there at the time the dance ended.

So in addition to the other 2 people 1 teen on the page, 1 other teen on the page said that the truth was between what I was saying and what the other 2 were saying. She said that some of the 16,17,18,19 year old highschoolers didnt like the music, were not happy that their download request didnt get played because they were supposedly not appropiate, and left.

I asked her why none of the teens didnt tell anybody, so that maybe they could have gotten the songs they liked play. She said they were too chicken to say anything to anybody.

The other 2 on the page said they were going to make it so that I never DJ ed again in that town, county, community.


So I defended myself, argued, against that threat. Turned into a real crap storm.

Then a co worker of the Chairman noticed the crap storm facebook messenger messaged me, asked me to delete the pics of the dance, thread, told me, she understood where I was coming from, but that Jim the guy I was defending myself against, had a lot of pull in the community, and that the community didnt like anyone schooling them, (telling them the truth)

One of the things I said to Jim.

Paraphrased: "Instead of Blaming me the DJ, the Chairman, the Event. If a COUPLE(Not All, most to almost all the teens are good behaved)Teens in the PAST had BEHAVED themselves, and if a COUPLE of Parents(Not all because most to almost all parent in this community do a good job parenting), would better parent the COUPLE of Misbehaving Teens that have caused problems at the dance in PAST, insteading of blaming the Chairman, the Dance event, DJ, then maybe the Chairman would not have asked me the DJ to not play innappropiate download request to help prevent problems at the dance, and then maybe I the DJ woukd have been able to play the innappropiate download request songs the teens wanted downloaded played, and then maybe the teens would have been happy, liked the music, not left early."

Now I know some might tell me like the co worker of the Chairman told me that Jim who has a lot of pull, and other people in the tight knit community, is, are not going to take kindly to someone schooling them, arguing with them, defending yourself, crapstorming with them, etc, and that that will lead you into not being able to get a job, whether your business, or any normal working job, in the community ever again.

But the way I figured it. Jim, others were already totally ruining my chances at ever doing another DJ Job in that community again, so I might as well defend myself, argue, TELL THEM THE TRUTH,(school them as Jim, and the co worker of the chairman put it).


Now I have spent $700 on my Business. $450 for my $600 value 2500 watt DJ equipment, my Smartphone, my Laptop, $250 to a local artist, friend who designed my Logo, my Business Cards, my Business Post Cards, my Business Tee Shirt, my 3 foot by 6 foot Business sign.

Now right now other then being self employed, I am unemployed, but looking for work to augment my business.

I have 2,3, couple few options, I could try to get jobs, that can work around my business schedule.

Or

I could try to get a career job as either a EMT(took the class, just need to study pass the federal exam that 50% fail), or a NAC,(Nursing Assistant)(My NAC license is expired, I would have to renew it with the DOH(Dept of Health), and the DSHS, OBRA Registry, and I would have to retake the NAC state exam)

There is a EMT opening, and a NAC opening that is willing to train, help the right candidate renew their license, at the local Hospital.

Now if I get the Hospital EMT, NAC jobs, or a full time career job, I probably wouldnt be able to do both Job, business.

So the question I have, what should I do, or not do?

I dont want my business to fail. I like it, love it, worked my a$$ off for it, and for the teens.

I started the business because the only DJ in the county who has DJ ed for 20 years in the county, who was named as the Spokane Inlander's Best DJ, is retiring in about 6 months, and only does the Bi County Prom, and a marriage or two, and nothing else, and hasnt DJ ed the town teen dance in 10 years, and doesnt advertise anymore and has a totally inactive business facebook page.

So I would have practically almost no competition in the whole county.

But at the same time it seems mighty UNFAIR how I was, am being treated, and don't deserve how I am being treated, when I sacrificed, worked my A$$ off for those teens, community, for so long, for the dance, only to be treated like crap.

No wonder the previous 20 year DJ hasnt DJ ed the town teen dance in 10 years.

As to why I am talking about, asking about this here, I can't talk about it on facebook, because it would just create more of a crapstorm, make things worse, if even possible, then it already is.

So what do I do? Advice? Help?

Sorry for length

Sorry if not appropiate here.

Didnt see any other OT Off Topic Forum here

Just a fellow coug who needs help, advice from other fellow cougs.

Thanks for any help given, if given.

 

[BleedCrimsonandGray]

If doing the DJ thing is your passion, gtfo of podunk. Wedding DJs - when was the last time you saw one who didn't live in his mom's basement? I mean if thats what you aspire to more power, but it sounds like you want something more.

If DJ isn't your life goal and/ or you want to stay in podunk, change jobs and move on. Put an ad in the Spokesman and do gigs during wedding season for some extra scratch.

 

[mikalalas]

Thanks for the comment.

DJ ing, if its just a hobby, at least in the beginning, doesnt make much, or almost no money at all.

But once it gets going, it can make a lot of money.

The past 20 year DJ made a living at it for 20 years. He probably made about $3000 to $6000 per month

He charged $200 a hour and $600 to $800 per wedding, and the town, county, happily paid him that often.

Heck, the town dance I DJ ed, paid me $400, for 1, 2,3 hour job. Thats about $135 an hour.

My DJ business should, probably would, make about $75 to $150 a month minimum. And $500 to $1000 a month average, and about $1500 to $3000 a month maximum.

My DJ business is a passion of mine. I like it, love it. Want to do it. I just wasnt counting on this crapstorm happening, and really dont want to deal with crap storms like this.

But maybe dealing with crap storms like this is the price of doing business in the town.

Am I willing to pay that price? Maybe, think so, hope so, kind of want to in a way to be able to do my DJ business, but I dont know.

My plan is, maybe was:

Start, do the business.

Get a semi temporary, semi permanent, semi part time, semi full time job that would augment my DJ business, and work around the business until I built the business to the $1500 to $3000 a month, $23k to $50k a year level. Only then would I work the DJ business full time.

In other words, I like, love, passionate about the DJ business, but I want to be smart, careful about it too.

 

[mikalalas]

As to whether I want to stay in Podunk. Me and my Wife live in a 2 bedroom Subsidized Rent 30% of income $375 a month apartment that we have a 1 year lease.

And her family, friends live in a very nearby town.

So its not a matter of whether we want to stay, go.

For the short to Mid Term, we have to or need to stay in podunk.

Mid to long term plans is to maybe move to Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Southern Central Utah, Northeast Texas Louisanna border, Flagstaff Arizona.

 

[Coug95man2]

Here's my thing. I work in a business where my work is literally examined every day and scrutinized. Never... I mean NEVER... engage in the $hitstorms. Want to look/appear professional? Talk face to face. And certainly not on Facebook. You'll notice, most professional facebook sites don't even allow for comments. That's for a reason.

Regarding how to handle being between a rock and a hard place? Determine whom your "contact" is. One person (maybe 2 but certainly not a gaggle of them) that you answer to regarding playlist, how loud, lights (if you have any), etc.. Any gig. You answer to THIS person(s) only. And be open about this. Everyone knows you answer to the President of the city council, for instance. When the fit hits the shan, that's when you and that person can talk. But that way, they are equally responsible. Basically, you have a built in friend.

I grew up in a small town. I get the politics man. You'll never get away from that stuff. As soon as you can... grow thicker skin.

 

[mikalalas]

Coug95, the only reason I posted anything on the town's virtual yardsale page, was because I rhought the community might like to see some pics of the teens, teen dance.

Was completely shocked, surprised, not expecting anyone to start telling me I was a terrible DJ, and that I should never DJ in that town, community.

Here's the thing. If it was just Jim, a minority, I post a quick response defending myself, then leave it at that, delete post in thread, delete thread if have to. I certainly would not let it turn into a crapstorm.

But it wasnt just Jim, minority. Jim, Mandy, a teen, had lots of PULL in the farm town, and they convinced about half, the semi majority into believing them, and that they are, were a SERIOUS THREAT to SHUTTING DOWN my business in the community.

Basically at that point there were 2 options.

1. Not say anything, not defend myself, thus not create a crap storm, and the VOCAL minority bullies, with pull, who convince, control semi minority, make sure I never DJ in town again, shut down my business in town again.

2. I DEFEND myself, TELL THE TRUTH, etc, crap storm happens, Truth, Logic, Facts, either get ignored, not read, not comprehended due to either bad communication on my part, or bad reading comprehension on their part, the Vocal minority still convinces semi majority into making sure I never DJ in town again.

Either way. Net result is not being able to DJ in town again no matter what I did.

As to what you said I should do, where you said I should find 1 person, aka the council president:

Well I did do something like that. The Chairman was the BOSS. Me and them had a pre dance meeting.

At the meeting, the Chairman, my BOSS, asked me not to play inappropiate download request.

At the dance I was just following orders from that BOSS in not approving, downloading, playing any inappropiate download request.

I obeyed that.

And when, in the defense on facebook, I even said that I WAS JUST OBEYING ORDERS, etc.

But they either didnt believe me, or their reading comprehension is so bad they couldnt read, understand what just obeying orders, etc, means, or I communicated badly in saying I was obeying orders, etc.