When was the last time
- Thread starter BleedCrimsonandGray
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The fact we’re still having competitions for QB reps is the reason we’re in this mess.
It helps no one to pretend or pussy foot around serious mental health issues.
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You do know he suffered from CTE, right? But regardless, if Mark and Kym were standing in front of you, would you still tell them that their kid was "emotionally I'll equipped for P5 football"?
That's a serious question... would you say that to them?
It helps no one to make assumptions about him like “he couldn’t handle playing football”.
Well Tyler’s case will be really important moving forward.
Was it a blow to the head or several blows that brought on the onset to mental health issues . It is presented that way. Or were there clues before hand that werre missed . From reading the accounts at the time this came out of left field. And if that is the case the studies in the future from CTE are going to be really important .
The fact he was a back up an, that redshirted he really hadn’t been hit in three years outside the injury against Arizona which was a violent hit. In practice and scrimmage at WSU he was always in a yellow jersey . So if there weren’t previous signs then one or two blows can have an impact and will be studied for a long time .
I get what you are saying........but the way that you worded that other post would get you punched in the mouth if you said that to one of their family members. One could argue that people using an insulting tone the way that you did is why guys like Tyler hid their issues in the first place. We all make mistakes when typing....it's best to say, "My bad" and move on.
Tyler needed help long before he committed suicide. The last thing he needed was the intense pressure placed on him by major college football. He needed someone, anyone, to recognize the problem, to tell him you need to get help and scream bloody murder until he did. Hopefully, because of him others have come out in tennis, gymnastics and track recently and acknowledged that they aren't equipped emotionally, and need help before they hurt themselves. The pressure and demands are insane and it made them utterly miserably. Sadly, a young athlete from New Zealand committed suicide recently. A few years back a distance runner competed at the NCAAs then jogged to an overpass and jumped off. Why?
The last thing people struggling with mental illness need are people pussy footing around the issue, offended that anyone would suggest they are emotionally ill equipped for high stakes sports, or whatever they are up to. They need people brave enough to step in and convince them to get help.
I know first hand of what I speak. Honestly, do you?
A friend of mine in high school, bullied to no end, committed suicide. I convince myself he could handle it. But I knew better, deep down. I blame myself to this day for not being the guy who screamed bloody murder. But I was one of many too afraid to act for fear of getting involved, offending and/or overreacting.
I would tell the Hilinski's to take an inventory of all the signs they missed, in retrospect, all the things they would have done differently, and teach others based other their tragic experience.
What's would you tell them? I'm sorry for your loss and leave it at that?
I honestly don't know what all I would tell them. I really don't. Coming from me, someone they don't know, I would simply give them encouragement in the days and years ahead.
I do know what I wouldn't tell them...I wouldn't tell them that their child committed suicide because he was "emotionally ill equipped for P5 football" and just leave that statement hanging there.
Listen SoCal, I don't want to get in a pissing match with you over this. I have lost a brother at 55 and a nephew at 31 to suicide. So yeah, I too know of what I speak.
All I'm saying is that your one line post that I replied to would have come across a lot less heartless if you would have included everything in it that you just said.
I am not sure where I end up on this story . I have a good friend whose spouse at 29 as he would say “stripped a gear”. His language and his way to deal with it . She had at 29 was diagnosed with being bipolar .
While not there daily weekly or even monthly there were not signs to me on the surface.
With Tyler what is the best for his memory ? I think be frank and honest best helps the memory of him and helps others who may be struggling . Was it one hit that did it ? If so it will help people understand CTE.
What is curious to me to this day is why would anyone bust down his door if he missed a work out. If I had skipped something in college my friends first thoughts aren’t to go to my apartment and break down a door.
My youngest was exposed to death this past year . Her high school teammates younger brother took his life in January .
I met with the parents soon after, and they said I wish we could have seen the signs, then expressed what the previous 12 months were like . If they weren’t “in it” they could see what I saw and there were major signs of problems .
So what is best … and I agree while the language may be harsh I think it is better to confront it rather as you say at a later date to someone else “I am sorry for your loss”.
I know I wouldn't pretend to know what was going on in his mind. And I wouldn't assume it had to be football.
To avoid the emotional charged nature of this topic when it comes to Cougar athletes, how would you described the former NFL RB Ricky Williams? If I'd have said "emotionally ill equipped for football," would you say I was coming across as "heartless?" Granted, Williams did not commit suicide, but would it become "heartless," had he followed through with his suicidal ideation?
Ultimately, I would like to use language to describe what Tyler's situation has come to represent, frankly but with due respect (recognizing that Fab questions whether his situation was football related in the first place), without drawing the ire of the faithful. The family wants to de-stigmatize mental health issues among student athletes, but according to Flat, above, I would be punched in the face by Hilinski family members, because of the way I said it.
You have that shovel out tonight. Your statement was completely out of line and there is no defending it. Anything that you say on the topic in this thread is tainted by the bad decision you made to make a snarky comment about a dead kid. It doesn't matter if you know someone that committed suicide, it was still a sh!tty comment and you shouldn't have done. Trying to explain why you thought it was a good idea just compounds the crappiness of your moment.
Well said.
And I would hardly call someone who came in and lead us to victory down 21 points in the 4th quarter or whatever it was mentally ill equipped.
Pretty messed up.
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