OK, I'm going to treat this as a fully serious thread and therefore give a fully serious comment. This is, of course, solely my opinion and therefore has no real value or importance to those most impacted by the decision.
When somebody in a unit goes down a missing man effort in some form or fashion is generally appropriate.
If for some reason this is not done at the individual's funeral or other memorial ceremony, it should be done at the first logical opportunity thereafter.
The more time that passes between the loss and the observance, the greater the questions as to why the process was delayed.
If for some reason the group seeking to honor the fallen (in this case, WSU) has consciously or unconsciously chosen to avoid any real form of recognition for almost 2 years, there needs to be a credible answer to the question: "Why now?"
Great post.
I'm fine with the university's response -- I assume that the university is getting good advice from mental health professionals and acting accordingly. As for me, I will be at the game and will make it a point to be in the stadium to honor Tyler and the rest of the seniors, wearing my Hilinski's Hope bracelet, and will continue to support that organization.
I just doesn’t get it. Tyler committed an extraordinarily self-centered and selfish act. I can’t even imagine the emotional distress and trauma he caused his family. If anyone of my 5 children did that out of the blue, I would be completely destroyed and so would the rest of my family. Mourn Tyler’s passing, commiserate with his family, have a PSA on mental health, but Tyler was not a hero on the field or off, any more than Buddy Waldron was. Let’s not pretend otherwise. Leave a heroes tribute for heroes. Do this for Tyler, … what do you do for a real heros like Mike Utley and Steve Gleason, whom turn tragedy into portraits in courage.
There's a lot here, and obviously this is all opinion, but...
I agree that the "missing man" is appropriate
when somebody goes down. If they'd started the 2018 season with no QB on the field, I would have been 100% on board. Doing it almost 2 years after the fact seems a little forced. Add to that 2 graduations and simple attrition, and somewhere near half the guys who were on the roster with Tyler are gone, replaced by guys who never knew him. That kind of makes this sort of on-field recognition ring a little hollow.
Personally, I've
never been fine with the university's response. I know they got the advice that they shouldn't acknowledge, and shouldn't use his name, etc. I think that's crap. Using his name in conjunction with his family raising the flag last year would have been appropriate, and their refusal to do so was forced and awkward. I don't buy for a second that any other students would have killed themselves because Glenn Johnson mentioned his name. Say his name, mourn him without celebrating his actions, and back it up with resources. His family is now proving how that can be done. WSU and HH should be great natural partners, instead WSU botched their handling of this and alienated the family and their organization.
Suicide is, at its core, a selfish act, and always fails to consider the impact on those left behind. But you can acknowledge him without celebrating him. Don't make him a hero, make him a cautionary tale. Ultimately, his story is not a warning for those who are depressed or have mental health struggles - it's a warning for those
around people who are struggling. Again, something his family is now doing. I also don't think it's fair to compare Tyler and Buddy Waldron, the situations are only very vaguely comparable.
So, here's my thoughts on Saturday:
Reality is that this will be the last time his name belongs in the stadium. After that, he's just another semi-anonymous former player who appears in old highlights. His recruiting class is playing their last game. He should be too. Invite his parents. Let his teammates bring out his jersey, give his mom a rose and a hug. Say his name, and show his face on the scoreboard. Let the crowd give his family another standing O. And then play the mental health PSA right after the acknowledgement of seniors.
And that's it. No missing man, no further discussion. Go back to 2019 football.